Never Grow Up
by tashy-lou
Summary: "Wish I'd never grown up." That was what Dixie wished. More than anything at all. She had barely noticed herself grow up. She supposed it had happened the moment she'd watched her parents died or maybe the moment she'd become Batman's sidekick or when she let Tony Zucco live. Either way though, she was grown now and there was nothing she could do to change that. Fem!Rob Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I don't own Young Justice, The Batman, Never Grow Up or To Kill A Mockingbird. Good luck finding how all of those come into this. There may even be a reward for people who leave a review listing where all three are used.

Never Grow Up

Rachael, or 'Dixie' as she was known to her friends and family, Grayson sat in front of a mirror in the changing room backstage at Gotham Academy. This was nothing out of the ordinary since she was due to perform in Gotham Academy's Junior Talent Show that evening, but if you were to look a little closer you would see that things were not as normal as it seemed. Dixie sat in the chair in silence, her back turned to others in the room and her head down so that nobody would see her face in the mirror. The nine year tried to calm herself knowing that she was up after the next performance. She just couldn't understand it.

More tears slipped down the girl's pale cheeks as she thought of him. Her new guardian, Bruce Wayne, had promised that he would attend the talent show to watch her sing. He had promised and yet now he wasn't coming. A teacher had just come to inform her that they had received a phone call telling them that the man had been caught up at work and was therefore unable to make it to see her in the talent show. He was busy at work. He was always busy with one thing or another. Always too busy for her.

A woman came up and lightly patted her on the shoulder. She didn't look up, she couldn't let anybody see her tear stained face. "Rachael, you're on in 2 minutes."

The woman walked away and Dixie stood up, hastily making her way to the bathroom. She quickly washed her face and got herself calm. She had to perform. She couldn't let Bruce not being there upset her. She couldn't be such a _child_. She had to be strong. She walked back into the changing room, her nerves now mostly settled and got ready to perform. She was already waiting by the door when another woman came in and called out her name. She followed the woman to the side of the stage where she was given a microphone. She walked on the stage nervously as the headteacher walked off. She stood in the centre of the stage and looked out at all the strangers in the audience. Watching her. Judging her. Then the spotlight turned on, hot and blinding, and the music began to play. Suddenly all her nerves and worries vanished. She smiled out at the audience loving the feeling of being out under the heat of the spotlight, an audience staring at her, watching in participation. This was what she loved to do.

The music continued to play and Dixie waited for the point where she would sing. Then the time came. She took a deep breath and began to sing into the microphone:

"_Your little hands wrapped around my finger_

_And it's so quiet in the world tonight._

_You're little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreaming_

_So I tuck you in, turn on your favourite night light._"

As soon as she' sung the first verse of the song, Dixie's head was filled with sweet but sad memories of her childhood. Dixie smiled as she remembered her mother tucking her in and caring for her.

"_You find everything funny,_

_You've got nothing to regret._

_I'd give all I have honey_

_If you could stay like that._"

Dixie remembered all the fun times she'd had with her parents. She remembered how her Dad had made her laugh all the time with all his stupid jokes and how he had called her his 'flying squirrel'.

"_Oh darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up,_

_Just stay this little._

_Oh darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up,_

_It could stay this simple._"

Nothing was simple anymore. Not since her parents had died. Not since Bruce Wayne had taken her in. Not since she'd become sidekick to the Batman.

"_Won't let nobody hurt you,_

_Won't let no one break your heart._

_No one will desert you,_

_Just try to never grow up._

_Never Grow up._"

Her heart had already been broken. Not in a romantic sense. Just broken. It had broken the moment the trapeze snapped. The moment they had fallen. The moment she had lost her parents. Her whole world. It had been broken again since then. Not as badly but still broken. It only added to her pain and made the damage already done harder to repair. It was broken every time Bruce promised to do something for her but it didn't. Every time he was too busy for her. It had already been broken tonight.

"_You're in the car on the way to the movies_

_And you're mortified your mum's dropping you off._

_At fourteen there's so much you can't do_

_And you can't wait to move out some day and call you own shots._"

She had never got to do that with her mum. She had lost her mum before she had turned fourteen. Before she had even thought about going to the movies with her friends. She had never even thought about her mum embarrassing her like that. She lost her long before that

Dixie took a deep breath before continuing.

"_But don't make her drop you off around the block,_

_Remember she's getting older too_

_And don't lose the way that you dance around_

_In your PJs getting ready for school._"

Other people's mums were getting older. Hers wasn't. Hers was dead. Dixie wished she'd remembered that when she still had a mum around. She would have treasured every moment she had with her. She would have spent as much time as possible with her parents if she had known that they wouldn't always be there.

"_Won't let nobody hurt you,_

_Won't let no one break your heart._

_No one will desert you,_

_Just try to never grow up._

_Never Grow up._"

Dixie thought back to earlier when she had been upset at herself for behaving like a child. She was angry at herself for even thinking that.

"_And no one's ever burnt you,_

_Nothings ever left you scarred_

_And even though you want to_

_Please try to never grow up._"

She was scarred though. Despite only being Robin a few weeks, in the past month she had been both emotionally and physically scarred.

"_Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room._

_Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home._

_Remember the footsteps, remember the words said_

_And all your little brother's favourite songs._"

Dixie's breath hitched on the last line. She could no longer hold back the tears and almost couldn't continue as her throat closed up from the tears.

"_I just realised everything I have is someday gonna be gone._"

She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. The people in the audience couldn't see her tears. They didn't know he was crying. She carried on.

"_So here I am in my new apartment_

_In the big city, they just dropped me off._

_It's so much colder than I thought it would be_

_So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on._"

That part always reminded her of when she first moved in with Bruce. Those cold, lonely nights in the dark bedroom with no one to hold her until she fell asleep. She still had nightmares but now she had somewhere else to go. A cold, damp cave was better than a cold, dark room if there was someone there to keep you company.

"_Wish I'd never grown up._

_I wish I'd never grown up._

_Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up,_

_Could still be little._

_Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up,_

_Could still be simple._"

That was what she wished. More than anything at all. She had barely noticed herself grow up. She supposed it had happened the moment she'd watched her parents died or maybe the moment she'd become Batman's sidekick or when she let Tony Zucco live. Either way though, she was grown now and there was nothing she could do to change that.

"_Won't let nobody hurt you,_

_Won't let no one break your heart._

_No one will desert you,_

_Just try to never grow up._

_Never Grow up._"

The chorus again, her mother probably wished she'd never grown up. Wished she could still be little. Things could still be simple. She understood that now. She regretted ever growing up.

"_Won't let nobody hurt you._

_Won't let no one break your heart_

_And even though you want to_

_Please try to never grow up._

_Don't you ever grow up._

_Just never grow up..._"

As the music ended the crowd cheered wildly. Dixie smiled and wiped the tears from her cheeks as the headteacher came back on stage. She didn't really listen to what he was saying, she was too happy and sad at the same time. She was physically and emotionally exhausted and just wanting to go home and lie down. Then she heard something. Something that made her smile vanish. Something the man had just said. He said it under his breath so no one else had heard. He was too far away from the audience for them to see his lips move. But she had heard and she had saw.

The crowd went silent as Dixie crossed the stage to where the head teacher was standing. He looked at her curiously. She pulled back her leg and kicked him. Hard.

She knew she was strong had a hard kicker but when the man fell to the ground in pain she was nothing but shocked. She hadn't even kicked where she was aiming to. She intended to kick his shin, but aimed to high. It wasn't her fault she was angry, she was already upset and couldn't aim properly especially after what he had said.

Dixie looked down at the man writhing in pain at her feet and walked off stage with a satisfactory smile.

"_Little brat, probably didn't understand half of what she just sung._"

Dixie's smile vanished. She had understood it, she couldn't think of anyone who could understand it better than she did.


End file.
